| relations are a joke |
[05 May 2009|01:04pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Tilly and the Wall- Chandelier Lake |
] |
When your roommate and best friend of the past decade and you don't really utter more than a few words a day, things feel pretty lonely. Steven has decided he doesn't want to go out on his 21st birthday. I think it's pretty stupid, but more so, I am upset because I failed at making this special and the only way i could do anything for him was to take him out and get him hammered. Now I can't even do that. So, I continue to fail another one of my friends. I DID go out and get him this amazing cake shaped like a peen that says "wishing you much hap-penis steven" It's pretty incredible. OH. I always forget I have a camera on the top of my computer..
okay bye.
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| sooo |
[04 May 2009|07:41pm] |
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music |
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Polaris- Hey Sandy |
] |
This is my 80th attempt to get back into posting on lj. I used to be so into it at 14... what happened?!
I've put off going to the grocery store for over a month now, and I'm down to grits or ramen... I feel that buys me more time so I don't have to the grocery store....
Steven turns twanky one tomorrow and I feel I am failing him as a friend because I can't think of anything particularly special to do for him. suck.
My feet are killing me. I need some new shoes. Waiting on tables is terrible in that aspect. I love the money in my pocket constantly though.
bye.
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| sick |
[12 Mar 2008|07:11pm] |
I have a lot of hang ups. Mainly ones that prevent me from making any real connections, or maintaining ones I already had, with anyone. Ever.
I'm tired. Not sleepy. Tired. Physically, emotionally, completely tired of myself.
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| in your head |
[02 Mar 2008|02:10pm] |
I really don't want to be alone.
Nothing worked out with any of the guys I was dating. The only real disappointment was Mickey. I have a small desire to make an attempt to salvage whatever connection we had. I'm so pathetic. Even though it's not truly what I'd prefer to have, I'm not letting go of having a friend to fuck and cuddle afterwards. I'd prefer something with some real meaning, but I'm fucking lonely. I take that back, I'm NOT lonely. I'm not lonely at all. I just... have a lot of love to give and it's been bottled up so long I feel like its eating away at me. I told myself I wouldn't focus on this.
I need to focus on saving money, working more, MOVING OUT, getting back into school, blah blah blah.
Try to get things together. Fail. Repeat.
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| I have to work a |
[09 Feb 2008|08:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Saves the Day- Rocks Tonic Juice Magic |
] |
double today. Not looking forward to it either. Looks like it might be another ice cream night for Whitney. Without the ice cream though. I never really feel like going out after work smelling like a nacho. It's displeasing.
I think I'll make tonight a movie night for myself. Sounds exciting.
Anyways, thank the gods for freakin' senseo coffee. It's phenomenal.
p.s.- I need to invest some time into downloading music. I hate doing that though... I'd prefer to just buy some hard copies of music. Like.. with the case.. and the booklet.. and if my computer crashed I'd still have the LP or the CD. You know?
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| Court |
[06 Feb 2008|07:07am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Unicorns |
] |
So, I got up at 6:30am today. I'm just doing my regular drinking coffee and sitting on the computer wake up routine. I decided to look at my LJ, because a friend brought this site up to me. It had pretty much completely slipped my mind. I never get on Myspace anymore either. I think the internet is loosing its luster.
Anyways, I'm up this early for a reason. I have court this morning for a bullshit ticket that I'm just going to have to pay. A month or two ago, I was pulling out of work and someone slammed into me knocking off my headlight, bumper, and twisting my frame. After way too long without my car, I finally got it back. With it's rusted hood and multicolored parts, I am feeling very classy. Maybe, one day I'll have enough money to paint it. NOT. With this wreck, I had a pretty much totaled car, another car of 4 "injured" people that my insurance had to pay off, my insurance rates went up, and I got a ticket in the mail. Fucking awesome. The other people got a flat tire and a whole bunch of money from Geico, because the majority of people are sleazy jerkoffs.
Last night I did my OWN taxes for the first time, and I liked it.
Oh! And I only have 47 days till I turn 21. I'm going to Laberge Du Lauc (spelling!?) with my parental units and brother the weekend of... and then sir John Ambrose is coming to visit me. This will be a wonderful, WONDERFUL birthday.
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| 0913 |
[16 May 2007|04:12am] |
So, I think Michael and I have been "in a relationship" for almost two months now. I didn't remember the date or anything because I'm bad about that sort of stuff. It's weird being in a real relationship now... especially after all the crap I've had since my last real one... Andy. When I was like, 17. Anyways... I've don't see us not getting along... being that we've gotten along since 8th or 9th grade. I'm really happy being with him, and I have a lot of trouble saying goodbye. It's pretty ridiculous. I'll stay 3-4 hours after my curfew with him just because I don't want to go. I just took him home from my house now and it's about 4 in the morning. We just sat around and listened to music and played nintendo DS. Well, maybe I hate seeing him go because the first month or so of our relationship he was in Dallas going to school. I know I need to lay off a little, but now I'm starting to think of how he'll be leaving at the end of the summer to go BACK to school and it fucking sucks. I know I just need to take it slow and see how everything goes and not think about it too much. I'm a worry wort though, can't help it.
And to further vent:
Will, everyone is going to miss you, dude. I know it has been a long time, but I will still miss you. And I hate knowing that you're not going to be around anymore.
What sucks the most... the last time I saw him was at Josh's funeral. Why the fuck does this have to happen?
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| no. |
[22 Jan 2007|01:05am] |
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I really don't have anyone to talk to about anything that really matters to me.
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| 0865 |
[19 Apr 2006|10:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 my carrrr! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Ugly Cassanova- Smoke Like Ribbons |
] |
I get to drive my car to get painted today. I am ecstatic.
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[27 Dec 2003|11:19pm] |
OKAY GUYS.
IF YOU WANT TO STAY ON MY FRIENDS LIST AND/OR CONTINUE TO READ MY JOURNAL, LEAVE A COMMENT. YOU HAVE TILL I MAKE MY NEXT POST. AND I DO NOT KNOW WHEN THAT WILL BE. THANKS, SUCKERS.
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[25 Dec 2003|11:32pm] |
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Happy Santa Day everyone. I really apreiciate the things that were given to me. Thank you, guys. And to the people I gave to, I hope you enjoy your presents. =)
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| wh1tn3y gr4nt |
[23 Dec 2003|01:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 gassy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Mars Volta- Tira Me a Las Aranas |
] |
I cant even look in your eyes
without shakin'
and I ain't faken'
Ill bring home the turkey
if you bring home the bacon
Today was really great. Great enough for me to write in my journal about. *pushes up glasses* hahaha. Okay, so I woke up all icky, but happy because I actually got to sleep in a LITTLE. I felt icky in the way I would feel when I woke up in Ashley's playroom after haveing a long night of smoking weed and being lazy in the sticky summers. After I woke up I ate some Cinnamon toast crunch. WHAT A HOOT. Then, I was going to get my keys to go get Greg's presents to wrap, and guess who the fuck walks in my door (without knocking of course!). Good ol' GREGGY POO. Oh man. I am so glad I got to hang out with him today. We exchange Santa Day (Greg day) presents. I got him a glass that holds 5 bottles of beer and a little black book of cocktail recipes. He got me the new Against Me! Urban Cowboy, Arnold Schwarzenegger's total body work out (fucking classic) and Mullets Rock cd. They fucking rule. We played Soul Caliber for about 45 minutes I think, which was great to actually have someone to play video games with. Which reminds me I need my fucking Tony Hawk back from fucking Andy. That's shitty. I want my shit back. ANYWAYS, we then met Casey and Jenny up at rancho grande or whatever its called, and then to Target only to find out Greg wasn't able to get his eyes checked. Then, he took me home. I can't describe my love for the Gregmeister. He rules at life. Then, soon after, Ana stopped by and we exchanged Santa Day presents. I got her The Breakfast Club because she is getting a DVD player and had never seen it. Which is weird to me. She got me the visor CD holder that I have needed for quite some time. It will be U-TILL-A-TIZED. sigh. Then, I saw good ol TONY! We talked for a bit and it made me happy. He hasn't seemed to change much to me. Except for the extra pot. Meh. Then, Ana came back over and we watched the Breakfast Club. I think she enjoyed it. I hope she did. Then, we sat in her car and listened to music. Hehe. After she left Rachael, Sara, and Mommy #5689685657598 came over. They brought my mom a gift that Rachael had made and me cookies. MMHMM! I love that family. They are good people. My hair is really greasy. Then, I watched When Harry Met Sally and fucking loved it. First time to see it. I loved it. Paul is awesome. Anyways, I just want to say thank you to: GREG, ANA, RACHAEL. <3
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| Its been 37 years since james died |
[19 Dec 2003|06:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bitchy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Against Me!- Pints of Guinness make you stronger |
] |
Oh, how I sincerely love being woken up at 6:30 in the morning only to be told I am worthless and to move my car.
Anyways...
IM AWAKE. AND DON'T HAVE SCHOOL.
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[09 Dec 2003|04:29pm] |
All cleared.
HAPPY B-DAY BROTHER.
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| face down |
[06 Dec 2003|11:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 groggy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Burnt by the Sun- 2012 |
] |
Being completely over everything is extremely relieving.
Yesterday, Marc came over and we made prank phone calls via ebaumsworld.com. I sucked at that. It was alright though. After he left I went to pick up Rachael. I was so happy to drive my car. Alone. With whatever music I wanted to hear. So that was a nice ride there. I am not so afraid to drive anymore which is a good thing. We went to the mall. Neither of us wanted to go, but I suggested it because I didn't have any money and I just wanted to get out. Rachael OBVIOUSLY had a shitty time. She kept mentioning how she hated the mall. I told her that if she continued I'd spit on her. Which led to her hitting me in the face. She better be glad it didn't hurt. I went on telling I wasn't about to go there, but now I had to get krunk. We ended up driving around New Territory VERY SLOWLY. Then just parked at the park and listened to music and looked at the sky and stuff. <lame3 I almost passed out on the way home. So, I came home and went to sleep on the couch.
I am about to go to the grocery store with my brother. Then, come home take a shower. I want to see Pedro today. That would be shizz-0-licious. Then, later tonight, Corey is supposed to spend the night. I think thats cool; that he can spend the night cause he is both my brother's and my friend. TOODLES BITCHES.
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[04 Dec 2003|09:55pm] |
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I changed my comments back to where anonymous people can post. I realize I need to put up with people's shit anyways. Plus, I miss the random comment from Greg.
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[03 Dec 2003|01:04am] |
First wreck today..
WHAT WILL TOMARROW BRING?!
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| Its funny.... |
[02 Dec 2003|04:40pm] |
The last time I kissed you I felt absolutly nothing.
Why did that bother me, I have no idea.
I am glad I woke up. I am glad I thought about
things today and yesterday. Now, I feel better.
I don't plan on letting myself be so open to
getting hurt or hurting someone ever again.
end.
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punkretard's journal
discontent
